For the most part, this blog has been mostly about the kids. Whether it was something funny they said or did, or something frustrating, I would write about it. The last year I have been not writing as much so in the quest for new material, I am going to start writing more about me.
Recently, my son Harper has challenged me to be a better parent. Or shall we say, a gentler, kinder parent. :) It seems that I have let my grouchy side show a bit more than he would like. I am sure he also speaks on behalf of his siblings. Although I am certain the intervention was completely his own doing. That being said, I am going to try and challenge myself to live up to his ideals. After all, less grouchy, more happy could not be a bad thing for anyone.
So, I am going to try and use this blog as a way of keeping myself in check. I really want to be a better Dad for them and they deserve that. So, while I will continue to write about all the charming and amusing things they do, I will also call myself out when needed and perhaps, even give myself a little credit. In the end, the goal is to be a better Dad and a better person. Wish me luck!
-Scott
Wednesday, February 17, 2010
A loving intervention
Harper, my dear, sweet, beloved 9 year old son, has decided to rescue me from myself. It seems, according to him, I can be a bit grouchy at times. :) He has been counseling me on ways I can improve my standing as a father and be less grouchy and "not talk in that mean voice." He has lovingly devised a merit system for me where I lose points for bad behaviors. Apparently though, I don't get extra points for being nice because, well, I guess I should always be nice. I guess some people would be upset with this little intervention but I am trying to take it to heart. There was a sweetness and gentleness to the way he talked to me about it that one couldn't help but be proud of him. It would also be ridiculous to deny that I might have my share of grouchy moments. So, I am trying to be a better Dad. I'm trying to watch the tone in my voice and avoiding making that little exasperated sigh that I apparently make much more than Harper would like. :) It's not easy but I am trying and I hope it shows. Don't give up on me Harper! I can do this! I know I can.
Tuesday, February 16, 2010
Finding the glory of the day
Wednesday, February 10th:
I came home from work today grouchy, stressed, and tired. Somehow, I managed to make it through the evening and was all set to vent about my frustrations. I've haven't been writing much lately so this seemed like the good time to start again. I sat down at the computer, ready to let the words spill out in a cathartic rush. I knew I could find some comfort in the act of writing. I laid my fingers upon the keyboard, took a breath, cleared my mind, and let the words flow.
Today was a crappy day!
Okay, well it wasn't really a great start but it was a start nonetheless. Considering, I haven't really written anything in over a year, who could fault me for not finding my voice right away. So, I sat a bit longer and thought about all the things that went wrong throughout the day. Once again, I laid my fingers upon the keyboard ready to blast the ills of the day away.
And that is when it happened. Instead of reveling in the misfortunes of my day, all that came to mind, were snippets from this evening. They were small moments that would not equal the length of my day but yet they seemed to lessen the sting of it.
-Dancing around the living room with Harper while waiting for the pot of water to boil on the stove.
-Having Devin tell me she had a song stuck in her head and being able to find the exact song on the first try based on her "vague" clues.
-Reveling in the fact that one of my favorite songs caught Devin's ear and that she also appreciates the sad lyrical beauty of a song.
-Listening to Henson (4 years old) share about his day at pre-school and tell us that the music they played today made him sad "because piano's sometimes sound sad."
-Watching Harris and Henson sitting on the couch together as Harris reads out loud to Henson.
-Sitting on the couch with Harper as he asks me to teach him about photography and watching his eye light up as he examines the camera and lenses.
-Listening to Dylan talk excitedly about his drawing class as he shows me his work in progress and how he plans to finish it.
Somehow these small moments seemed to make the rest of the day fade away. It wasn't as if the evening went perfectly. There were moments of fighting and temper tantrums. There were children not happy with dinner and others not wanting to go to bed. In the end, when pushed came to shove, those were not the things I remembered. It was those small, happy moments that came to mind first. And as I sit here, wanting to write about my "terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day" I can't find the words to do so.
There is a lesson in this, I am sure. For me, it is the realization that the happy moments always outweigh the bad. This may seem naive or simplistic but there is a basic truth to it. We can choose to hold on to the crap and stress of our days. Or, we can let them fade away and revel in the glories of the day instead. What those glories are will vary from person to person. For me, it is my children.
In the end, that is all that matters. My crappy day at work will be long forgotten, but those precious moments we share will burn on forever. I need to remember this and try to be a better father because of it.
I came home from work today grouchy, stressed, and tired. Somehow, I managed to make it through the evening and was all set to vent about my frustrations. I've haven't been writing much lately so this seemed like the good time to start again. I sat down at the computer, ready to let the words spill out in a cathartic rush. I knew I could find some comfort in the act of writing. I laid my fingers upon the keyboard, took a breath, cleared my mind, and let the words flow.
Today was a crappy day!
Okay, well it wasn't really a great start but it was a start nonetheless. Considering, I haven't really written anything in over a year, who could fault me for not finding my voice right away. So, I sat a bit longer and thought about all the things that went wrong throughout the day. Once again, I laid my fingers upon the keyboard ready to blast the ills of the day away.
And that is when it happened. Instead of reveling in the misfortunes of my day, all that came to mind, were snippets from this evening. They were small moments that would not equal the length of my day but yet they seemed to lessen the sting of it.
-Dancing around the living room with Harper while waiting for the pot of water to boil on the stove.
-Having Devin tell me she had a song stuck in her head and being able to find the exact song on the first try based on her "vague" clues.
-Reveling in the fact that one of my favorite songs caught Devin's ear and that she also appreciates the sad lyrical beauty of a song.
-Listening to Henson (4 years old) share about his day at pre-school and tell us that the music they played today made him sad "because piano's sometimes sound sad."
-Watching Harris and Henson sitting on the couch together as Harris reads out loud to Henson.
-Sitting on the couch with Harper as he asks me to teach him about photography and watching his eye light up as he examines the camera and lenses.
-Listening to Dylan talk excitedly about his drawing class as he shows me his work in progress and how he plans to finish it.
Somehow these small moments seemed to make the rest of the day fade away. It wasn't as if the evening went perfectly. There were moments of fighting and temper tantrums. There were children not happy with dinner and others not wanting to go to bed. In the end, when pushed came to shove, those were not the things I remembered. It was those small, happy moments that came to mind first. And as I sit here, wanting to write about my "terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day" I can't find the words to do so.
There is a lesson in this, I am sure. For me, it is the realization that the happy moments always outweigh the bad. This may seem naive or simplistic but there is a basic truth to it. We can choose to hold on to the crap and stress of our days. Or, we can let them fade away and revel in the glories of the day instead. What those glories are will vary from person to person. For me, it is my children.
In the end, that is all that matters. My crappy day at work will be long forgotten, but those precious moments we share will burn on forever. I need to remember this and try to be a better father because of it.
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