Don't worry this isn't my confession. I haven't grown tired of the wife and kids and decided to run away to the hills of North Carolina. No, this little phrase can most often be heard coming from the mouths of certain small boys in our household. Occasionally, Dylan, our eight year old threatens us with this statement, but most of the time it is Harper (5) and Harris (3) who make this proclamation. Sometimes together, sometimes alone. Usually one of them will say it and the other will follow suit. I'm not so sure it's an act of solidarity, as much as not wanting to be outdone by the other. Our kids seems to have a keen sense of dramatics so it can often be an entertaining exchange. The following clearly illustrate the dramatic and entertaining.
Recently, I was sitting on the front steps when Harris marched up to the bottom of the stairs and said those now famous words:
"I'm running away!"
(Just the day before, he had made the very same statement so I was somewhat doubting his intentions. Now, I am probably guilty of several parental mistakes by even engaging in a conversation with him, but what can I say, I enjoy a little drama too!)
"Harris, do we have to play this game again? Didn't we talk about this yesterday? You are three, you can't run away."
"Why not?"
"Because Harris, you can't take care of yourself, you won't have anywhere to live, you are afraid of the dark, and there are animals out there."
"Well, I am still running away!"
"Okay, well, be careful out there." (Harris starts to march down the driveway looking very determined.) "Oh, you might want to come back and say goodbye to your Mom before you leave."
"What?"
"You might want to say goodbye to your Mom first" (Harris stops and slowly turns around.)
"Okay, I will." (He starts walking back to the house still looking determined. As he gets closer, he walks a little slower and less sure of himself. By the time he gets to the bottom of the stairs he is crying.)
"What's the matter Harris?"
"I don't want to run away!!" (He then rushes up the stairs and wraps his arms around my neck.)
"Good, we don't want you to run away."
*Note: Since this exchanged, Harris has repeatedly threatened to run away, but thus far has not made it past the driveway.
Wednesday, October 04, 2006
... and a girl blossoms
Recently, I was at the store with three of my boys and their 14 year old sister. It was a Sunday afternoon, the store was crowded, and I just wanted to get home. As we approached the check out lines, I started looking for one of those "ring yourself up registers" so I could avoid dealing with an underpaid and unhappy cashier. I spotted one that had a very short line and turned around to make sure everyone was still with me.
When I did, I noticed my daughter standing there with the biggest grin on her face that I have ever seen. I looked at her suspiciously and asked her what was going on. She replied with an innocent "nothing" and then proceeded to try convincing me to use register 19. I told her no and explained that I wanted to use the self checkout. She continued to do her best to change my mind, tossing out reasons why we should proceed to register 19, all the while, craning her neck to see over the row of checkouts.
Now, being a reasonably smart guy I could think of only one reason for her sudden interest in a specific register. I asked her if there was a boy at register 19. She did not need to respond, her answer was written all over her face. Her face was glowing, her eyes were shining, and her smile was endless.
This is supposed to be a moment that you dread. At least, that is what countless movies, books, and stand up comedians have led me to believe. The day when a father realizes he is no longer the apple of his daughter's eye. Surprisingly, there was no wave of fear washing over me. I was not overcome with sadness or a sudden urge to rush her away and keep her under lock and key. Much to my surprise, I enjoyed the moment. It was sweet. It was simple. It was lovely. In those few seconds, a girl blossomed right before my eyes.
When I finished checking out, I asked her if we should walk by register 19 and see if he was still there. Without hesitation, she said yes. So the five of us casually strolled past the register and there he was. The first thing I noticed was how tall he was. I mentioned that to her and asked how old he was. It turned out he was only a year older than she was. By this time, we had walked almost to the opposite end of where I had parked.
I stopped and turned to my daughter and said, "Now you realize we are nowhere near where we are parked. We could go ahead, go out this exit, and walk through the parking lot. Or, we can walk back past register 19 to the other exit ." She replied, "Well, he probably already thinks I am crazy so we might as well go back." And so we did. As we were leaving the store, I asked her if she has ever talked to him and she said no. I then asked her what his name was. She paused, smiled, laughed, and then said "Scott."
On the drive home, she was quiet at first. Then, without warning, she turned to me and happily said, "Thanks for taking us to the store Daddy!"
Then... she smiled. Again... in those few seconds... a girl blossomed right before my eyes.
-Scott
When I did, I noticed my daughter standing there with the biggest grin on her face that I have ever seen. I looked at her suspiciously and asked her what was going on. She replied with an innocent "nothing" and then proceeded to try convincing me to use register 19. I told her no and explained that I wanted to use the self checkout. She continued to do her best to change my mind, tossing out reasons why we should proceed to register 19, all the while, craning her neck to see over the row of checkouts.
Now, being a reasonably smart guy I could think of only one reason for her sudden interest in a specific register. I asked her if there was a boy at register 19. She did not need to respond, her answer was written all over her face. Her face was glowing, her eyes were shining, and her smile was endless.
This is supposed to be a moment that you dread. At least, that is what countless movies, books, and stand up comedians have led me to believe. The day when a father realizes he is no longer the apple of his daughter's eye. Surprisingly, there was no wave of fear washing over me. I was not overcome with sadness or a sudden urge to rush her away and keep her under lock and key. Much to my surprise, I enjoyed the moment. It was sweet. It was simple. It was lovely. In those few seconds, a girl blossomed right before my eyes.
When I finished checking out, I asked her if we should walk by register 19 and see if he was still there. Without hesitation, she said yes. So the five of us casually strolled past the register and there he was. The first thing I noticed was how tall he was. I mentioned that to her and asked how old he was. It turned out he was only a year older than she was. By this time, we had walked almost to the opposite end of where I had parked.
I stopped and turned to my daughter and said, "Now you realize we are nowhere near where we are parked. We could go ahead, go out this exit, and walk through the parking lot. Or, we can walk back past register 19 to the other exit ." She replied, "Well, he probably already thinks I am crazy so we might as well go back." And so we did. As we were leaving the store, I asked her if she has ever talked to him and she said no. I then asked her what his name was. She paused, smiled, laughed, and then said "Scott."
On the drive home, she was quiet at first. Then, without warning, she turned to me and happily said, "Thanks for taking us to the store Daddy!"
Then... she smiled. Again... in those few seconds... a girl blossomed right before my eyes.
-Scott
Sunday, October 01, 2006
ants should not eat pretty things
Harper and Harris were playing outside today, enjoying the cooler temperatures and each other's company. i was inside, enjoying some quiet time when suddenly, Harper came bursting in the front door with urgent news. "Dad, there are some ants taking over a butterfly and it's alive because it's wings are still moving!" He then stood there and didn't say anything more, but I took it as my cue to get up and investigate. I rushed outside, well okay, Harper rushed, I just followed and he led me to the scene of the crime.
Once outside, Harper pointed at the ground and said "see?" There on the ground lay a pretty brown, yellow, and orange butterfly that was clearly being eaten by the ants. I explained to Harper that the butterfly wasn't alive and that the ants were eating it. I told him that butterflies live a short life and then die. The ants probably found it and were just doing their job by eating it. Harper thought about it for a minute and then said "well, they shouldn't be eating pretty things like butterflies. Why can't they eat a cockroach?" I then tried to explain to him that the ants don't see a butterfly as pretty like we do, but they see it as food. I told him I knew that it was upsetting, but that's how it works sometimes. He watched for a little while and then I went back inside.
A short while later, I was outside again and Dylan came and told me that Harper had burried the butterfly. I went over to Harper and asked him why he did that and he said "I don't care if the butterfly is dead, the ants still shouldn't be eating it!" I looked at him, smiled, and said "Okay, I can't really argue with that reason!"
Once again, the 5 year old boy's mind seems utterly more complex and thoughtful than I could ever imagine. I don't recall the 3 previous 5 year old's in our house being so complex. Harper seems to carry himself a little differently. At times, he is the silliest boy we've had, but he also seems to be one of the most compassionate and introspective. It's a joy to watch. He cares so deeply about everything around him and his emotions always seem to run deep and strong. I love the fact that he felt it was wrong that this beautiful butterfly was somehow being disrespected so he took matters into his own hand. It never occurred to me to rescue the dead butterfly from it's fate, but clearly it did occur to Harper. He saw what he thought was an injustice and took steps to change it! Now, to others this may not seem like such a big deal. Other's may not see the beauty of what he did. Still others, may think I am being overly dramatic. To me, it was a simple and beautiful gesture on Harpers part and I am immensely proud that I am his father. I have feeling that he will open my eyes to a lot of things that I might not see or think of!
-Scott
Once outside, Harper pointed at the ground and said "see?" There on the ground lay a pretty brown, yellow, and orange butterfly that was clearly being eaten by the ants. I explained to Harper that the butterfly wasn't alive and that the ants were eating it. I told him that butterflies live a short life and then die. The ants probably found it and were just doing their job by eating it. Harper thought about it for a minute and then said "well, they shouldn't be eating pretty things like butterflies. Why can't they eat a cockroach?" I then tried to explain to him that the ants don't see a butterfly as pretty like we do, but they see it as food. I told him I knew that it was upsetting, but that's how it works sometimes. He watched for a little while and then I went back inside.
A short while later, I was outside again and Dylan came and told me that Harper had burried the butterfly. I went over to Harper and asked him why he did that and he said "I don't care if the butterfly is dead, the ants still shouldn't be eating it!" I looked at him, smiled, and said "Okay, I can't really argue with that reason!"
Once again, the 5 year old boy's mind seems utterly more complex and thoughtful than I could ever imagine. I don't recall the 3 previous 5 year old's in our house being so complex. Harper seems to carry himself a little differently. At times, he is the silliest boy we've had, but he also seems to be one of the most compassionate and introspective. It's a joy to watch. He cares so deeply about everything around him and his emotions always seem to run deep and strong. I love the fact that he felt it was wrong that this beautiful butterfly was somehow being disrespected so he took matters into his own hand. It never occurred to me to rescue the dead butterfly from it's fate, but clearly it did occur to Harper. He saw what he thought was an injustice and took steps to change it! Now, to others this may not seem like such a big deal. Other's may not see the beauty of what he did. Still others, may think I am being overly dramatic. To me, it was a simple and beautiful gesture on Harpers part and I am immensely proud that I am his father. I have feeling that he will open my eyes to a lot of things that I might not see or think of!
-Scott
End of Days
Fear not, this isn't going to be some long diatribe about how our world is going to come to some hideous end. This is yet another glimpse into the complex inner workings of a 5 year old boy's brain. And what an amazing place it can be!
Earlier today, we were in a store where they just had set up aisles upon aisles of Halloween themed items. Needless to say, Harper and his brothers were excited by the site of it. So much so that Harper tried to convince me to buy Ziploc Halloween Themed Sandwich bags. Despite his pleading and begging, I was able to walk away without buying the bags. Thankfully, my skills of reasoning are just a bit better than his and I was able to win that battle. I am sure somewhere down the line, I will be buying him something else that he didn't really need, but today, I was the victor. Anyway, enough bragging, back to the story.
On the way home from the store, Harper started to ask when Halloween was. I told him it was in exactly 30 days. It took about 3 seconds for the frown to appear. Quickly, I tried to lessen the blow and told him that was just over 4 weeks away. He seemed to like the sound of that a little bit better and I assured him that the time would go by fast. He seemes satisfied, but then got really quiet.
I asked him what was wrong and he started to get emotional. In a sobbing voice, he asked "what happens when the days end, will there be more?" I wasn't sure what he meant so I asked him to explain it a little more. Trying to hold back the tears, he said "will the world explode when the days end?" I of course, was shocked. I quickly told him no and asked him why he said that. He rambled on about "the end of days" and was still emotional. Devin, his big sister, then realized he was talking about days like in a calendar. Harper had thought that once the days end on a calendar that there would be no more and that we all would die somehow. I reassured him that that wasn't the case and that the calendar was simply a piece of paper that helped us keep track of the days. I told him that no one knew when or if the world would end and that we would probably be here for a long time. Of course, that started more questions but, by and by, he seemed okay and satisfied that "the end of days" wasn't upon us.
Of course, it also got me started thinking about life and how much there is in it that can confuse and bewilder small children. It's amazing how their brains can work. One minute, he's high on anticipation and the next, he contemplating the end of the world. All at the age of 5! I suspect, that Harper and I will be having many such conversations for a long, long time.
-Scott
Earlier today, we were in a store where they just had set up aisles upon aisles of Halloween themed items. Needless to say, Harper and his brothers were excited by the site of it. So much so that Harper tried to convince me to buy Ziploc Halloween Themed Sandwich bags. Despite his pleading and begging, I was able to walk away without buying the bags. Thankfully, my skills of reasoning are just a bit better than his and I was able to win that battle. I am sure somewhere down the line, I will be buying him something else that he didn't really need, but today, I was the victor. Anyway, enough bragging, back to the story.
On the way home from the store, Harper started to ask when Halloween was. I told him it was in exactly 30 days. It took about 3 seconds for the frown to appear. Quickly, I tried to lessen the blow and told him that was just over 4 weeks away. He seemed to like the sound of that a little bit better and I assured him that the time would go by fast. He seemes satisfied, but then got really quiet.
I asked him what was wrong and he started to get emotional. In a sobbing voice, he asked "what happens when the days end, will there be more?" I wasn't sure what he meant so I asked him to explain it a little more. Trying to hold back the tears, he said "will the world explode when the days end?" I of course, was shocked. I quickly told him no and asked him why he said that. He rambled on about "the end of days" and was still emotional. Devin, his big sister, then realized he was talking about days like in a calendar. Harper had thought that once the days end on a calendar that there would be no more and that we all would die somehow. I reassured him that that wasn't the case and that the calendar was simply a piece of paper that helped us keep track of the days. I told him that no one knew when or if the world would end and that we would probably be here for a long time. Of course, that started more questions but, by and by, he seemed okay and satisfied that "the end of days" wasn't upon us.
Of course, it also got me started thinking about life and how much there is in it that can confuse and bewilder small children. It's amazing how their brains can work. One minute, he's high on anticipation and the next, he contemplating the end of the world. All at the age of 5! I suspect, that Harper and I will be having many such conversations for a long, long time.
-Scott
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