Mountain Lions in North Carolina? a.k.a Conversations NOT to have with small boys.

As any parent knows, kids are prone to saying inappropriate things. Sometimes, you are present for the conversations, while other times you hear about it secondhand. Ocasionally, you have to guide children away from topics of conversation that are not appropriate. Maybe it's due to age, content, or for your own sanity or dignity. As the adult, it is your job to recognize potentially embarressing or harmful conversations and take the neccesary steps to control the situation. As an adult, you should never encourage, inflame, or participate in inappropriate conversations. Unfortunately, I just learned this information. What follows is what can happen if you do not follow the above rules.

One evening, while we were on vacation in the mountains of North Carolina, a conversation started at dinner. I'm not sure what prompted it, but I know that Harper started it. Anyway, Harper started asking about animals that could eat people. It started off harmlessly enough. He was clearly being silly by asking questions like "can birds eat people?" The conversation circled around the table a few times, with the animals growing in size. Still, no need for concern. It was all relatively harmless fun. I, for the most part, just listened.

Until Harper asked if the Florida Panther could eat people. Now we were heading into tricky territory. I decided honesty was the best appproach and said "yes I guess it is possible." To minimize the damage from such a shocking revelation, and being the quick thinking kind of a guy I am, I alertly pointed out that we were in North Carolina and that there were no Florida Panthers here! Crisis averted, no need for concern...well almost.

In a moment of what I shall claim to be pure insanity, I followed that re-assuring comment with an off-handed remark about mountain lions eating people. The alarms went off in my head, unfortunately it was about 10 seconds too late. The thought became words and were quickly spilling out of my mouth. The room fell silent. The boys, who are all blessed with large expressive eyes, looked like cartoon characters as their eyes widened to the size of saucers. Clearly, this was not a moment for laughter. That would be highly inappropriate. Again, I failed. I started to laugh nervously as I looked at the boys who seemed to be in a state of shock. My 14 year old daughter (who apparently is as twisted as I am) started to laugh as well. The boys were not amused. Their mouths hung open as they nervously eyed the window, perhaps, for signs of a mountain lion.

I of course, being the mature and responsible person I am, was still laughing and for that I am ashamed. Up to that point the talks about mountains were innocent conversations. When we drove around the boys excitedly pointed out the mountains to each other. Harris would often ask, "are we on a mountain?" and when I said yes, he would be thrilled. Now, with the uttering of one small four letter word, mountain has taken on a whole new meaning. I could only imagine the horrors that the boys were seeing in their mind.

Once again I had to think quickly to try and and attempt to repair the damage I had done. In a loud voice, as if I was trying to scare away any potential attackers, I proclaimed that there were no mountain lions in North Carolina and that they lived "out west somewhere, like Arizona!" I watched and waited hoping that this would set their minds at ease. Would they believe me? Did I sound confident enough? It took a few seconds but then the boys seemed to relax and all was right with the world. They went back to eating and chatting about other things. Crisis averted, again. I laughed to myself and then made a mental note: "No family vacations in Arizona!"

Bug-Eye Glasses

Henson hamming it up while wearing some lovely sunglasses! He was on a road-trip with Mommy and one of her friends. I am protecting her identity out of respect. Although if you've seen her you surely will recognize those glasses!!

The Mind of a 3 Year Old

This was originally published in May on a different blog.

Being a parent there is always a chance that your kids will say something that makes you stop, shake your head, and wonder "where did that come from? Sometimes, its said with a sense of shock, other times, its said with a laugh. Life is always full of those moments and that is what makes parenthood such an incredible journey. One day, the kids make you want to pull your hair out, and other days they make you want to wrap them up in a big hug and never let them go. Yesterday was one of those days.

It was late in the evening and dinner was done. The boys, Dylan (7), Harper (5), and Harris (3) were all sitting around the dining room table. Dylan and Harper were deeply involved in some sort of discussion about Pokemon, while Harris sat quietly looking through my wallet which I had left on the table. From my seat in the living room, I could see Harris looking at my drivers license. He was studying it and turning it over in his hands like he was trying to figure something out. I didn't really know what to make of it, but I found it captivating anyway. I watched him for a little while and then decided to go upstairs to get their bath ready.

A few minutes later, I came downstairs, and found Harris sobbing uncontrollably on the couch with tears streaming down his face. I could literally see the wet trails on his cheek from were the tears had spilled down his chubby little face. Immediately, I assumed he was hurt and rushed over to him to try and figure out what was wrong. I asked him what had happened, but he just sobbed. I asked if he was hurt, if he had banged his head or something. Again, more sobbing mixed with some words that weren't really decipherable. I asked his brothers if they knew what had happened but they had no clue. I pulled Harris closer and asked him again what was wrong. He seemed scared and I had never seen him sobbing in the way that he was. Again, between deep breaths and sobs he spoke. This time, I could understand the words "you" and "card" but I still had no clue what he was trying to tell me. I asked him to show me what he was talking about so with tears still rolling down his face, he went to the dining room, picked up my wallet and took out my drivers license and brought it to me.

He stood before me, looking both sad and frightened, and then he said "you were in here" as he held up the drivers license. It then dawned on me. For some reason, he saw my picture on the drivers license and thought that I somehow was inside the card. He was still sobbing uncontrollably as I tried my best to calm him down. I asked him if he was scared because he thought that I was gone and was now in the card. He shook his head yes, and cried some more. I pulled him close and re-assured him that I was still here and that I had not left. I explained to him that the picture on the drivers license wasn't really me that I was still there with him. I told him how I needed the picture of me to show that I was allowed to drive my car and that it wasn't really me. I held up the card and showed him the picture and then had him touch my face. Finally he started to calm down and seemed to feel better about the situation. I held him close as the tears finally came to a stop.

It's pretty amazing how the mind of a three year old works sometimes. Plenty of other times, Harris has held that same driver's license in his hand and happily exclaimed "that's you!" He's also had his picture taken before with me before. Yet for some reason, in that moment, in his mind, that picture of me meant something completely different. I'm not sure what triggered the thought. Perhaps it's just because he's getting older and starting to think more analytically about things. In a way, it makes perfect sense, after all, how I can be in two places at once? Still what a surreal and sad moment it was. It made my heart break to see him so emotionally upset because he thought I was gone. It also makes you realize just how weird, complicated, and scary this world must be to a three year old. As parents, we can't hold on to our little ones forever, but on days like these you sure wish you could.

-Scott

Without them, I am nothing

What makes a man, a man? How do you determine your worth or value to the world around you? When I meet someone for the first time and they ask me about the work I do, I quickly change the topic. There are many reasons for this. Mainly, I do so because what I do is not who I am. I also don't love my job and it is not something I am proud of. It's a means to an end. Yes, I know it's a good reason to look for another job, but that is a topic for another time.

The only thing that I have done with my life that matters, is being a father. Everthing else pales in comparison. Nothing else is significant. When I am long gone, do not measure me by the amount of money I have aquired. Do not judge me by the size of my house or what I have driven. Do not praise me for how I may have moved up the "corporate ladder." It doesn't matter.

When I am long gone, look to my children for they are my legacy. Get to know them. See how they live their own lives. See the people that they are. In them, you will find pieces of me. In the end people who have never met me, will get to know me through my kids. This is how I want to be remembered.

I read this quote from the late Jim Henson and it perfectly illustrates how I feel about being a father.

"The attitude you have as a parent is what your kids will learn from more than what you tell them. They don't remember what you try to teach them. They remember what you are." - Jim Henson

A little about my kids:

Daniel (16) is the eldest and the moodiest. He loves computers (very talented at 3d design), music (making his own and listening to a wide range of stuff) and stealing his father's socks. He's sensitive and caring and has no tolerance for prejudice of any kind.

Devin (14) is the only girl of the bunch. She is a voracious reader, excellent student, member of chorus and loves to watch music videos. She also writes and loves art. She is very helpful and often demonstrates her maternal side. Although getting her to change a diaper is still a battle!

Dylan (7) is smart, analytical, introspective, and serious. He's also very helpful and loads the dishwasher better than his older brother. Dylan LOVES Pokemon! He is highly amused (and sometimes embarressed) by the antics of his younger brother, Harper. Dylan also has a very caring soul.

Harper (5) is lively, outspoken, funny, and creative! He is an artist who loves to draw and make things out of items that he finds in the recycle bin. He is very passionate about his art. He loves nature and has a huge sense of adventure. He's also very empathetic and cares deeply for those around him and the world at large.

Harris (3) is sweet, playful, and energetic. He loves to do what ever Harper and Dylan are doing. He can also be heard repeating what they have said as if it's his own thought. Harris loves all things Nick Jr! He also likes to help out around the house, as long as it doesn't mean picking up toys.

Henson (1) is our own sweet little Muppet and cuter than most. He currently loves to crawl around and explore anything within his grasp! He is also a great snuggler and is quite good at vocalizing his needs!

-Scott

Happy First Birthday Henson!

Today, our own little Muppet is one years old. One year ago today, he was born at home surrounded by family and friends. His eldest brother, Daniel, cut the cord. It seemed an appropriate way to welcome our last child into the world, by having the first do the honours. It's so hard to believe one year has gone by already. Happy Birthday Henson!

Catching Fireflies: memories, realities, and realizations

When I was boy, fireflies were a fascination to me. I remember the excitement I felt when I spotted one. It always seemed that they appeared magically out of nowhere and would then quickly vanish. Being outside on a summer's evening and dashing through the yard to catch fireflies in a jar was a summertime ritual. I even wrote a poem about them. It was a loving ode praising their beauty and mystery. Life was so simple then, as were the pleasures.

So, as we sat on the deck of our North Carolina mountain cottage and watched the fireflies "glowing like candles for all to see" (yes, that is a line from said poem) I was overtaken by the urge to once again dash through the yard and catch fireflies. What fun it would be to rekindle the magic of a simple childhood pleasure. I couldn't wait!

Of course, first I needed something to put them in. After some deliberation, I thought of the small round water bottles the kids had been drinking from. One of those would be perfect! So, I found one and did my best to dry it out. Afterall, fireflies stuck to the inside of a wet water bottle isn't that much fun. I then used a fork and carefully made air holes in the top. After considering going barefoot, I decided it was best to wear shoes to avoid stepping on anything slimy or squishy in the yard. Having taken all the proper precautions, I told the kids that I was going to catch them some fireflies and I headed out into the cool, dark, night.

Dashing down the steps of the deck and into the yard, I felt just like a little kid again. In the distance, I spotted a bunch of fireflies down the hill near a line of trees. I moved quickly towards the tree line as I took the top off the bottle. The plan was set, I would swoop in upon them and grab a few of them before they had a chance to get away. Fireflies it seems, are not that clever because they kept blinking as I approached. They did not even try to hide. This was going to be too easy!

And then the strangest thing happened. They were gone! Just gone. I stood for a moment dazed and dumbfounded. I spun around as if I expected them to be behind me, but there was nothing but darkness. Perhaps I had underestimated them after all. After rethinking my plan, I decided to just walk around the yard and see if I could find some more. Whenever I would spot a firefly, I would again dash off in the direction that I saw it, only to find it was gone before I got there. I tried to look for clusters of them yet I would end up wandering aimlessly around the house.

Even though I had only been outside for about 15 minutes, I was beginning to question the whole point of this quest. Certainly, I did not expect this to be such a difficult task. I mean, how hard is it to catch fireflies? I was quickly losing interest and patience when I saw a firefly in the grass. It seemed to be moving slowly and wasn't blinking as much. Recognizing an opportunity, I quickly grabbed the feeble looking firefly and put it in my bottle. Even though it was not a prime sample, I still couldn't help feeling a little proud at my catch. I held the bottle up to my face and watched the firefly blinking inside the bottle and was eager to add to my collection.

I was about to head off and search for more when I had a moment of clarity. There was no reason for me to work so hard searching for the fireflies. I held the bottle up again and admired the bait that I would use to lure other unsuspecting fireflies! Feeling quite clever, I walked around the yard holding the bottle at arm's length. Surely, it wouldn't be so hard to catch them now, right? After all, isn't that little light supposed to attract other fireflies? I mean, why else would they have it? Well, after about 10 minutes of roaming around the yard like Frankenstein, I once again questioned this whole plan. I was expecting the fireflies to flock to me but that did not happen. Hell, not even one came anywhere near me. Was my firefly faulty? Maybe it somehow warned the others? Perhaps it used its light as some kind of morse code. "He has a bottle, stay away!"

I really didn't know, nor did I care. Catching fireflies was nowhere as much fun as I remembered it being and it definately was way harder than I recalled. Perhaps, catching fireflies is a young man's sport. Maybe 37 year old men aren't supposed to dash through the yard after fireflies. I decided I had enough and headed back to the house with my one firefly. I stood on the deck and looked out at the yard. Needless to say, there seemed to be fireflies everywhere. I couldn't help feeling a little disappointed in my catch. I had envisioned a bottle glowing brightly with fireflies, instead all I had to show for my efforts was one lone firefly.

Soon after that, the boys came barrelling outside excitedly asking to see the fireflies I caught. I told them there was only one but that didn't dampen their enthusiasm. They all took turns holding the bottle and watching the firefly inside it and I remembered just why I went out into the yard in the first place, to catch them some fireflies. After they all had turns looking at the firefly we decided it would be best to let it go free. I took the top off the bottle and we all watched it fly away.

In the end, everything worked out just the way it should have. I may not have succesfully recreated my own childhood memories, but that no longer mattered to me. Instead, I had the joy of watching the faces of my three boys light up in smiles as they "oohed and ahhed" over one small firefly. It is a simple pleasure, but one that is timeless.

"going to carolina's" - Day 2

Monday, July 3rd. - Our First Full Day In North Carolina.

Today, the kids and I spent most of the day at the cottage. We all slept in which was a nice and had a late breakfast. We did venture out for a lunch and then a trip to Wal-Mart and the grocery store. Yesterday, we got back into Franklin late so we just picked up stuff for dinner and breakfast. Today we stocked up on food for the rest of the week, plus some sparklers, bubbles, and a giant purple ball. It was fun getting out, but we had most of our fun hanging out at the cottage and enjoying each other's company.

Today's highlights:

- Eating breakfast outside at the picnic table. It was a beautiful morning. The kids thought it was so cool that we were eating breakfast outside.

- Coloring pictures for the boys in their journals. Each of the boys brought a notebook and crayons and wanted me to draw in them. Dylan and Harper each wanted a sun in their books, while Harris got a flower. They all were pleased. I signed and dated the pictures for them. Harris insisted I write a "3" on his picture "because I'm three!"

- Picking fresh blueberries with the kids and eating them immediately.

- Dylan helping me figure out how to put his tent together.

- Playing catch and kicking the giant purple ball around with Devin, Dylan, and Harris. Harper was amusing himself with two sticks. He looked quite like the little swashbuckler! Afterwards, we all sat on the deck and blew bubbles.

- Watching Devin enjoy the view while sitting in the grass. I suppose she could just have easily been bored out of her mind, but it looked like she was enjoying the view!

- Watching Devin and Harris (the oldest and the youngest kids with me) talk as they each sat on a swing.

- Watching Harper draw in his journal.

- Washing dishes with Dylan.

- Painting with the kids. I had the boys collect leaves, sticks, and grass. We tried to do leaf prints on a canvas but it didn't work too well. Devin was reading but came out and helped us with the painting. We ended up covering the canvas with different color paints using brushes and our fingers. While the paint was wet, we used sticks to scribble and scratch at the paint to reveal colors underneath the wet paint. It also has some grass stuck to the canvas. It turned out really cool. We plan on hanging it up when we get back home.

Things I learned today:

-My kids are funny!! I can't count how many times today one of them made me laugh. One of the funniest moments involved Harper.

"Dad, are hot dogs really made from dogs?"

After I stopped laughing, "Ummm, No they are not Harper."

"Good! I wouldn't eat them if they were. Would you?"

"No Harper, I wouldn't"

"Cool!"

- Harper is an artist!!! I watched him drawing and he is very physical and purposeful with his crayons. He is also very intense and seems to disappear into his art while he draws. His art has lots of energy in it too. It was amazing to watch! I took some great pictures of him from overhead. I can't wait to see them.

- Harper loves life! He seems to have a great zest for life. His energy and spirit is infectious! Again, it might just be the setting but he seems to revel in being outside. He is definitely a nature boy and is also very sensitive and caring. In a conversation today, he told me he doesn't want anyone in the family to die, including the pets, and then expanded it to everyone everywhere... and the trees.

-Kids can become emotionally attached to blueberries. At about 8:30 pm Harper realized he couldn't find his bag of blueberries. He was sobbing. He looked all over the cottage and couldn't find them anywhere. He then asked to use a flashlight so he could look outside for them. So, in the near dark, he rushed outside to search the yard for them. He never found them, but I promised him tomorrow morning he and I would go pick some more for him. He was especially concerned because he had lots of them. I assured him we'd pick that many and more. Note: It is now a week since we picked those blueberries and he has still not eaten them. They currently are in our fridge here in Tallahassee. I think he plans on saving them forever!

- "You're fun to hang out with Dad." Said to me by Harris as we sat at lunch. It was one of those totally out of the blue moments that kids frequently have. Of course, I was also sharing my food with him, so that might have influenced him.


All in all, it was a great day. It was nice to spend the day with the kids being creative and making art! Tomorrow we are going to pick up Maggie and Henson and spend the afternoon together. I'm sure there will be more fun and adventure. Stay tuned...

"going to carolina's" - Day 1

Sunday, July 2nd. The Drive

The Participants: Scott (37), Maggie (36), Devin (14), Dylan (7), Harper (5), Harris (3), and Henson (11 months).

The Missing: Daniel (16), grumpy teenage boy + long car ride + small cottage in mountains = grumpy Dad and not much of a vacation. Result: teenage boy left at home with family friend. Outcome: Everyone gets what they want and is happpy!

The Objective: Driving to North Carolina for vacation. Maggie and Henson are going on a working vacation to The Mountain (a retreat and learning center) just outside Highlands, North Carolina for her job at our church. Scott, Devin, Dylan, Harper, and Harris are going to stay at a cottage in nearby Franklin, North Carolina (about 45 minutes away).

The Drive: So, around 7am this morning we packed the kids and our stuff into the minivan and headed off to North Carolina. With a 7-8 hour drive ahead of us, and the prospect of unhappy and uncomfortable kids looming, I longed for time travel to quickly become a reality. When no one was looking, I clicked the heels of my sandals together and did my best Dorothy impression "There's no place like North Carolina. There's no place like North Carolina." Sadly, when I opened my eyes we were still in Florida. I am now convinced that Time Travel is indeed possible, but it has been squashed by the all powerful transportation industry and, the equally sinister, hair replacement industry. Both have the motives and the means to ensure that time travel never sees the light of day. Trust me, one day this scandal will be exposed!

Paranoia and dramatics aside, it actually was a pretty good trip. Of course, there was the expected complaints that come with any long trip. If you have ever been on a family trip, either as a child or as a parent, you've probably said or heard them all. So, I won't bore you with the details. In addition, there is always a certain question that gets asked over and over again. You know the one...say it along with me now. "Are we there yet?" Harris (our 3 year old) added a new wrinkle to this by repeatedly asking just where it was we were going. Once he had the information he needed, he frequently reminded us that we were "going to carolina's."

Henson, our sweet and beloved infant, did his part to keep the trip interesting by using his "I'm trying to break glass" scream throughout the drive . Clearly, he hasn't been taught the proper travel ettiquette and for that we are to blame. I did my best to impart onto him just how much we did not enjoy the screaming by using Dad Superpower #47.

In a deep and booming voice, I shouted "Henson, stop that!" Much to our surprise it worked. Of course, I then had to contend with feeling like a heathen as I watched his tiny lips curl into a pout, and then into a frown. For the next 20 or 30 minutes he would remain quiet, but he also would not look me in the eye. That, I'm afraid, is one of the dangers of using Superpower #47.

Note: I really do not have Superpowers, nor do I claim to be a Super Hero. Please don't ask me about Dad Superpowers 1-46 because there are none. It just sounded cooler this way.

Dylan, Harper, and Harris, also known as "the boys," were pretty excited about going to the mountains. There was much talk between them on the ride up about seeing mountains and how cool it would be. About an 1 and 1/2 from our destination, Dylan started to get excited about the mountains he was seeing out his window. Maggie told him they were just hills and he was amazed. Once we got closer to North Carolina he was in complete awe! It was fun listening to him and his brothers gushing about the views. They pointed different mountains out to each other and were continously exclaiming how awesome they were.

The Cottage: Once we arrived in Franklin, we headed to our cottage. Truth be told, up to this point I was not excited about the place we were staying. I had my heart set on another place that was more in the mountains but it turned out not to be available. Well, the cottage turned out be be really cute and was nestled nicely in the hills. It had lovely views and lots of room for the kids to play outside. I know that I drove Maggie crazy the week or two before the trip and I am hereby admitting I was wrong about the cottage. The only downside, the windows were not able to be opened. It seems strange to have a place in the mountains and not be able to enjoy the cool evening air. Oh well. It was a small inconveniance. After unpacking, we headed off to take Maggie and Henson to The Mountain.

The drive from Franklin to Highlands is amazing. Lots of winding roads with mountains, gorges, rivers, and water falls along the way. One of my favorite things about coming to the area 4 years ago was just driving along the winding roads and I quickly remembered why. Once we arrived at The Mountain Maggie got settled into her cabin and we all went to look at the amazing view from the lodge. Again, it is breathtaking and the kids were in awe. There is a valley below with mountains in the distance. The Mountain retreat sits atop Little Scaly Mountain and has great views all around. (I hope to add pictures to the blog in the coming weeks.) After we said goodbye to Maggie and Henson, the kids and I drove back to Franklin to do some grocery shopping at a small local store before heading back to the cottage.

Of course, being the directionally challenged person that I am, the trip back did not come without a few minor "detours." I was able to pass off the first couple of detours as "wanting to explore" the area, but my kids are pretty clever and quickly caught on. We were never really lost, but it did take a couple tries before we actually reached the cottage. Once we arrived, we had a late dinner, enjoyed the cool mountain air on the deck while watching the fireflies, and then went to bed.

Tomorrow will be our first full day in North Carolina. We may go do some more "exploring" or we may just relax at the cottage. Stay tuned...

Day 1 Highlights:

- The kids excitement about seeing mountains and waterfalls.
- Driving and "exploring" the mountain roads.
- Shopping for groceries with the kids.

Things I learned about the kids:

- Harris finds water towers as exciting as mountains.
- Dylan and Harper say "dude" way too much; "Dude, look at that moutain!" "Dude, a butterfly!" (I'm still not sure where they get this from.)
- Devin is not as directionally challenged as her father.
- Dylan is a very observant passenger; "Haven't we passed by here like 3 times?"
- Mountain air makes kids tired!!!!